La Vida Es Hermosa

Marcos Mundstock: Among the tragic characters that populate history and fiction, perhaps the suicides are the ones that move us the most. It must be clarified that while a murderer is one who kills a man, a regicide is one who kills a king, the word suicide does not mean, as many believe, one who kills a Swiss. No, a suicide is someone who takes their own life. Most religions condemn suicide, but the laws cannot do so since the body of the crime and the criminal in this case are the same thing. However, Anglo-Saxon legislations consider attempted suicide a crime, when the suicide has failed. In some cases, they have even sentenced them to death. Perhaps the only novelty in this topic, as old as mankind, are the modern services to assist potential suicides and the soothing and therapeutic music of the Suite 'Life Is Beautiful', which Mastropiero composed by order of the CEAS, State Suicide Assistance Center.

(Daniel is sitting reading a newspaper. Next to him, there is a phone that rings repeatedly, but he keeps reading as if nothing is happening. Finally, he picks up and starts a recording, which is performed by Puccio, Jorge, and Carlos Núñez)

Carlos López Puccio: You have reached the State Suicide Assistance Center. At this moment, all our operators are busy. While waiting to be assisted, we offer you our calming music, prepared by the center's experts. Please wait a little longer, do not hang up, and do not hang yourself.

Carlos Núñez Cortés: Our problems are just nonsense
Núñez, Puccio, and Maronna: There are always more unfortunate people
Jorge Maronna: Life traps them like in a net
Núñez, Puccio, and Maronna: And they are worse off than us, for example, you.

Núñez and Puccio: Forget those gloomy ideas
Jorge Maronna: It's okay, everything is fine!
Núñez and Puccio: Forget it, you must forget
Jorge Maronna: It's okay, everything is fine!
Núñez and Puccio: You have already forgotten
Jorge Maronna: You don't remember that you were going to commit suicide...
Núñez and Puccio: No, no!

Núñez and Puccio: Everything is fine
Jorge Maronna: Everything is fine!
Núñez and Puccio: Very good
Jorge Maronna: Good
Núñez and Puccio: Quite good... almost good...
Núñez, Puccio, and Maronna: Bad

Carlos López Puccio: Problems? Tell problems: I don't care!
Núñez and Puccio: This one has huge debts
Jorge Maronna: I don't care, I don't care!
Maronna and Puccio: This one stutters a lot
Carlos Núñez Cortés: I don't ca-care, I don't ca-care!
Núñez and Maronna: This one's wife cheats on him
Carlos López Puccio: I don't care, I don't care!
Núñez and Maronna: She cheats on him with a bearded man
Carlos López Puccio: I don't care!
Núñez and Maronna: Elegant and very strong
Carlos López Puccio: I don't care...!
Núñez and Maronna: We call him the horned one...
Carlos López Puccio: I DON'T CARE!!

(The lights go out and the spotlight returns to Daniel, who finally answers the call)

Daniel Rabinovich: State Suicide Assistance Center. Good evening, what is the matter?... But man, don't worry, Life is beautiful... Yes, I'm listening. Uh-huh...uh-huh...uh-huh... Hooray!... But man, don't worry, life is beautiful... After all, you have plenty of years ahead to enjoy, to be happy... Tell me, how old are you? Ah, ah, ah, ah... Yes, you don't have many left... But I always say that life is beautiful, that life deserves to be lived. On the other hand, death deserves to be 'died'. Ha, ha, ha! That's very good, thank you very much. Does the one with the Japanese parrot know? First of all, according to ordinance 3426/8, you must answer some questions before committing suicide: Is this your first time attempting suicide? Reasons for suicide? Are you not paid at your job? Don't worry, life is beautiful. The State takes care of you.

(He plays a recording that Puccio, Jorge, and Maronna sing)

Carlos Núñez Cortés: I already feel better
because the State will help me.
I already feel better...
Puccio, Núñez, and Maronna: I feel better waiting sitting down!

(Daniel, Puccio, Jorge, and Carlos stand up, and they sit down one by one in their respective 'seat horn'. Each seat lights up and emits a note. Daniel stops the recording and answers the phone again)

Daniel Rabinovich: What is your job? Ah, you are a State employee... And the money is not enough for you. Don't tell me, it's not enough for me either. No, the thing is when I started working here, they told me they would pay me according to my ability... With that misery, it's not enough for anything... The debts grow, yes sir. I have three credits, yes. No, I don't know. What am I going to do? Every time I think about this, I swear I feel like killing myself. What do you mean don't get upset? You're telling me that to cheer me up! Life is not beautiful! Who told you that lie? I failed at everything, I'm not even good for this job! The other day a man called, I only got to talk to him for a moment and he committed suicide... Yes, but he didn't want to commit suicide, he called by mistake!