Para Bellum

For every face like mine there are a thousand like yours
Who cower, surrender, see no other way out
Don't ask for peace, these are times of scarcity
For the heart, all that matters is the next beat
These are chaotic bad days, welcome to the funeral
In the virtual court, fool's gold shines
You want to live? Then unlock the Parafal
Suppressed feelings are wounds with pus
That kill you, rot you from within, it's tough
Antidepressants no longer cure anything
Hate is addictive like a drug
And love, sometimes, is an ambush

I made a lot of money in the last year
With it came the problems, what a great irony
And why did I have everything according to my plans
But couldn't sleep at night, much less during the day?

I know it's tough to imagine a different outcome
Thinking about the past is like a shot in the chest
Sorry for this way of mine trying to be tough
It's just that hiding feelings is the easiest way

So I'm the kind of guy who never complains
Don't interpret these verses as if that's it
My problems are mine alone, I hate drama
Maybe that's why they never understand my absence
Most people? Disposable to me
Not worth it, and from what I've been through
I don't trust anyone anymore, never sociable
Unfortunately, I left some broken hearts

I'm sorry, but there were no options left
I closed my world to strangers, no more friendships
It's just that the experiences I had were only disappointments
Some time ago I lost faith in humanity

I feel my blood boiling, my veins burning
Because when the body can't take it, it's the morale that lifts me
Fighting against my demons like a curse
Endless arm wrestling between me and depression

I feel this pressure, of being a reference
But destiny is a joke, it has no guidelines
I'm an outsider, never liked being in the spotlight
Now spotlights expose my scars

Maybe it's the price to pay for this position
And the damn luxury that I don't even enjoy
I saw that friendship in this hustle is pure illusion
And 9 out of 10 are just out for their own gain

I see some shit change their style just to be accepted
But in the end everyone's blood is red
I'm real, you may not like my way
At least I recognize myself when I look in the mirror

So I laugh at this scene, everyone so alike
Maybe it's the parents' fault, the old generation
They raised us thinking we were special
Created adults who don't handle frustration well

But my old man has bad blood and shaped me for war
And being a grown man, I built my own path
So screw these soft generation punks
My achievements are mine alone, I bled alone

The idea of feeling sorry for oneself is despicable
There's no dignity in passivity
I'm different, brother, my blood boils
Even in lost battles
Facing certain defeat and despair, I continue
You may see me dead but not on my knees
If you want peace, prepare for war