Desorden

There's a body spinning in the kitchen
at the end of a rope tied to a beam.
All afternoon watching movies.

Today is the 18th, she's gone.
It's been too long now she's not with me anymore.
Too long stuck in this place.

And now I'm talking nonsense,
life hanging by a thread.
I'd like to know what it's been worth
if no one has ever understood.

I've been wandering around the house.
I found some photos
that I hadn't looked at in a long time.
These memories break my soul.

If I had found the words
I wouldn't be alone at home now.
Just two exact words,
but I couldn't tell you anything.

What can I do if I can't do anything
to end something that doesn't end?