¿Quién Me Salva a Mí?

Have you ever thought about wanting to take your own life?
Maybe you imagined at your own funeral
Like a ghost, watching from above
To finally see if you were special to someone

I said it in the past, pessimism is addictive
People snort lines, I write them
Depression comes and goes, like the waves of the sea
I just want to sink into the water and start breathing

Feeling free, floating with the tide
No fights, no rhyming feelings
My tears piercing my lyrics like needles
Will my songs cry when no one listens?

Why do others always have to go first?
Too many I love yous and few I love myself
They repeat to me: Your writings saved me from dying!
But I have a question, tell me: Who saves me?

They talk to you about deconstructing yourself, but not about what to do
When you collapse for removing the wrong piece
I don't know what to tell myself anymore, I'm cornered
Between the wall and myself wielding the sword

And maybe I'll never forgive myself
There is no worse gag than the one you impose on yourself
I'm crazy in this life we are slaves of
With a lost gaze and conflicting feelings

Walking aimlessly and by inertia
Stumbling in a world as if it were a beast
No matter how much one wants, the wheel will never stop
If hope is the last thing to lose, what do I have left?

Let the seconds pass?
Time is a teacher who kills all his students
Did my words save you? Did they help you go on?
Now I'm the one asking, tell me: Who saves me?

Over time I have learned to let go
Because you can't save someone who doesn't want to be saved
And if I am destined to live in darkness?
Because chaos is my way of understanding freedom

I'm tired of understanding, but not being understood
Of being just a sack to throw stones at
Of our humanity being lost for a sad podium
Of love hurting more than hate

Words never existed to express what I feel
Nor winds to take them away from inside
They told me: You'll go to hell if you don't confess
I realized too late that it was already in my head

We always want to start from scratch
But we don't realize that the equation has always been the same
And again, start over
But we can't find the answer and the solution may no longer exist

I feel like a visionary surrounded by the blind
I feel like a stage without actors to interpret
I don't even know who is writing: Reason or heart?
I don't know what defines us: Intention or choice?

That infinite loop, the forest of countless paths
The myth won't fall if you don't believe the legend
Did my words help you not go towards the abyss?
I ask once again, tell me: Who saves me from myself?