Onde Morrem os Elefantes?

One beautiful day, my mother came home saying
That my grandma had found a new boyfriend
Mr. Roberto
At first, I thought it was a lie
That it was just another story that my
Mother had made up to tease me
Then, looking at my grandma, I saw that she really seemed in love
In her eyes, you could see that kind of passion that makes your heart beat
As fast as the first time you rang a doorbell and
Ran away or better
You could see that kind of passion that you know won't
Save you from the apocalypse but will ensure you a new genesis
My grandma not only seemed in love but also
Appeared to be living a typical teenage confusion
First, she started mixing up people's names
She called me by my cousin's name so much that I
Started responding every time someone shouted Diego
When I corrected her
She sighed and replied with a smile
Like the ones we see in maternity wards
Not the one on the parents' faces
But the one that stays on the mouths of newborns
Then, she started moving things around
Her house looked like a spot the difference game
Every cabinet you opened
Made you feel like you were seeing Christmas trees in July
Today, for example
It's the 8th time I've taken your shampoo out of the fridge
They say we should learn from our mistakes but how
To learn a lesson from something you don't remember doing?
It's not passion if it doesn't unsettle you
If it doesn't throw you off balance, if it doesn't make you lose your way
When the doctors gave the diagnosis
We realized that grandma's boyfriend was feeding her a
Passion so intense that it made her forget the world
Literally
His name?
Roberto, Roberto Alzheimer
When my mother said that my grandma was hugging
The German, I saw in her eyes the gates of Auschwitz
Only those who lived behind them know how
Hard it is to remember your own story!
And when you come You don't know the good you bring me You leave me in peace And when
You go My mind betrays me Takes away what's mine and I can't
Remember anymore Who I am and what brings me peace They say the
First sensations are similar to waking up in someone's house with a hangover
It takes a while for you to realize it's not your house, but
What to do when you don't recognize
The wallpaper of your own body anymore?
When my grandma's neurons started playing telephone without
Wire, her linking verbs began to go to voicemail and
Remembering the password for the voicemail of her memories was
Almost like solving crosswords using only consonants
At that moment, you realize that Alzheimer's is when the memory game turns into a puzzle
Words will play hide and seek
And no memory returns to save the world
It's when verb tenses cease to
Exist with everything that happened in them and the phrase
We are what we eat explains the bite marks and the
Chewed photographs we find under her pillow
They say the eyes are the windows to the soul
If you look at her for a while, you'll be able to see
Ghosts staring at you through the panes of her gaze
It's her memories trying to say hello
When my grandma started haunting her own body, I understood that people love hearing ghost stories but
No one wants to share a house with a poltergeist
Speaking of ghosts, every time I talked to her
She stuttered so much on syllables and vowels that I was sure
That every chat was actually a game of charades
The only difference between my grandma's language and a
Ouija board is that the board still has the entire alphabet
Alzheimer is when you understand that language is a means of
Communication and that your grandma has become an empty parking lot
It's when the space before the paragraph in your mouth becomes
The size of the entire page and silence becomes your second skin
Before, I thought she didn't talk to us anymore because she learned as a child not to talk to strangers, today
I prefer to believe that I talk to God through my grandma
At least I find their silence similar!
And when you come You don't know the good you bring me You leave me in peace And when
You go My mind betrays me Takes away what's mine and I can't
Remember anymore Who I am and what brings me peace
When I was a child
Grandma told me that those with good memory have an elephant's memory
Alzheimer is where elephants die and it
Taught us two important things about my grandma
The first is that she was as strong as a baobab tree and the
Second is that baobabs, despite being strong, are hollow inside
My grandma is a pyramid turning to dust before my eyes and the
Feeling I have when I see her is the
Same as seeing a newly discovered sarcophagus
Everything seems exactly left in its
Place waiting for the return of the former owner
It seems like her life was written on the
Mirror of a bathroom full of steam
Alzheimer is an open window
Today she recognizes her own reflection, but
Can't read the story written over it and
She who was once a manicurist, today
Instead of using her nails to
Unearth the past, uses them to dig her own grave
But she doesn't know that
The calendar only exists for those who take care
For her, how can it be the end of life if she doesn't remember she lived?
I know that occasionally, her memory mimics a thrift store
Everything there seems familiar to her, but nothing really seems to belong to her
In those moments, I don't need to wear hairspray instead of perfume just
For her to smell in me
The scent of something she knows or to ask me how I can be sure that she still loves me if
Maybe she doesn't even remember who I am anymore
If she doesn't remember that all this started when, one beautiful day
My mother came home and said that
She had found a new boyfriend
Mr. Roberto
I don't know if he loves her
But I know he will be with her until her last day of life
When she speaks, she still mixes up my name, I no longer correct her Diego
I just smile, happy, after all, she still remembers someone!