Lindansaren

I remember my childhood longing
I remember it strongly and clearly:
to be able to walk on a tightrope
under a circus's arched roof
Imagine, to float high up there
like a star in the blue
Far above clowns and circus performers
I wanted to dance gracefully on tiptoe

And spring came and the warmth
and it was the big day of the year
With flags and fanfares
came the circus to town
And I sat first and foremost of all
when the orchestra started playing
And the longing was like dizziness
or fever in my body

I enjoyed all the acts
of humans and animals
But I didn't become happy
until it was the tightrope walker's turn
when the drum rolled
and the lights went out
Only a single beam shone
when he took his first step

He floated as weightless
He danced as if in a trance
It was so indescribably beautiful
that we understood that it's true
that one can defy all laws
that one can break all bonds
and that there's nothing in the world
that a person can't do

And what do I know what happened
if there was something that didn't hold
if there was something that cracked
or something that broke
but he stumbled and fell
And while the screams turned into silence
and my heart beat and beat
a star lay there in the sawdust
and went out and died

But life must be lived
even when you no longer want to
But I never went to the circus again
I no longer belonged
It's like losing the ability
to control your dreams
when you have seen a star fall
too close to home