Morir o Matar

You sat right on the edge of the couch
as if something there was going to bite you.
You said: 'There are things we have to learn,
me to lie and you to tell me the truth,
me to be strong and you to show weakness,
you to die and me to kill.'

And then silence fell and the silence turned
into a kind of heavy and shared loneliness,
and the loneliness gave way to a terror that towards the end
showed us a world we didn't want to talk about.

And that's how our nights were and that's how our love was,
it started in silence, continued in terror,
and back to silence again. Tell me, why talk
about what could have been and what will never be,
trying to guess what we did so wrong?,
if, in the end, it's about dying or killing.

So, if you're still around here,
and someone breaks your heart again, love,
with money, charm, and some song,
please, get ready to run away.
Go far away and just observe
this so vulgar scene.

He met about a hundred women and charmed fifty,
met just as many men and slept with as many,
and spent all the money and people got tired
of hearing the same sad song night after night.

And now he sees that the universe is an empty and cruel place,
when there's nothing greater than his need in it.
And lighting a cigarette, he starts to torture himself,
and there will be someone nearby shouting 'let your will be done',
and 'the blame is only partly mine and partly others'.
It's about dying or killing, dying or killing.

It was that gypsy who read our future,
she said 'one is the killer and the other is going to die'.
And we left there and I saw you scared and fear sounded in your voice:
'before you kill me, I'd rather kill myself'.

And you started your escape and I ran to my room
and mixed white and brown powder in a spoon.
And with blood still dripping, I called you from that hotel:
'Please understand that something is not working well in me'.
And on the other side, I heard you cry and I kept talking, not hanging up,
and you begged me: 'Leave me once and for all, leave me once and for all'.

And your eyelids falling seem like guillotines to me,
and I'll watch you sleeping and I'll start whispering:
'our souls don't know rest, my love,
but if there's one thing that's true is that
I love you with a whole world with its beauty and ugliness.
Why can't you accept that this is nothing more
than, my love, dying or killing, dying or killing?'

I'll die, I'll die, I'll die...
I'll die, I'll die and it's the only thing I know.
I'll die, I'll die...
I'll die and when I finally do, nothing will stop me from resting
and I'll finally obtain the holy peace I never enjoyed in life,
because until death the only option is always to kill, always kill.