Si supieras

I'm gonna tear
your memory into little pieces of paper.
And then I'm gonna blow on them
so they blend in with the sky.
I have to stop doing stupid things
when I go out for a walk.
And I have to carry an umbrella when it rains
and not jump in every puddle,
when it rains
and not jump in every puddle,
like when you were here.

If you knew
how much time I spend each day not thinking about you.
If you knew
how much your smile hurts my head.
And now that I know
that your caresses don't interest me,
how could I show your irony
that my life without your bones was hell.
And I'm still
hung up on that day you looked back
and then you, without a break in your
voice,
said goodbye.

And I still spend time trying to invent
a way to dust off the darkness.