I Skuggan Av Mig Själv

It's fall again and paranoia hits its peak
Through the cold, the night seeps into my flesh
Paralyzing thoughts in my twisted brain
Dry leaves dance in the wind behind me
Creating unsettling sounds from the silence
And triggering my already strong anxiety
Every passerby is a potential enemy
I glare hatefully at every damn one
Hoping someone would glance back
And give me a reason
To whip out my telescopic baton,
To beat him to death

The person I once was is gone
Now I'm a monster
Driven by forces you never want to understand
But I've loved too
Anxiety can make you so damn tired
You kind of lose the will to try
You can't understand what it's like
To just be a shadow of yourself
I pull the tetra from my bag
Take a few big swigs of wine
Feel a little warmer inside
And I think this is the only love
I'll ever get to experience