Byens Hi-Fi Asyl

mornmorn, good day, good day my name is Ståle Krapyl
I'm the one running the city's hi-fi asylum
actually, I'm a plumber but I make more money
selling hi-fi than greasing threads
we bring in the most expensive stuff from New York's hi-fi fair
everything else sounds like crap and no one cares
but as a customer service that doesn't increase the price
they get to try our bidet while looking at brochures

our store is in the city's finest premises
the rent is high but the customer pays
yes, the ones we want here are the ones with so much money
that they buy much bigger stereo systems than they need
here, saving loans and such won't help much
but feel free to come by with your construction loan account
yes come, come, come, come to Ståle Krapyl
we'll meet at the city's hi-fi asylum

we've developed our special sales technique
we give all new customers a condescending look
and knock them down with industry jargon
and guide them into the quadraphonic lounge
where we play so loud that they stand there gaping
then they turn around at the door to come back and burp
but don't try to tell us what kind of system you have at home
because then we'll laugh so hard you'll never forget
that the one who knows about hi-fi here is Ståle Krapyl
and us other guys here at the city's hi-fi asylum

do you know it's like with stereo systems as it is with alcohol
you're not really well until you've been really sick
you buy a system now and get nervous and broke
but in six months you'll have withdrawal
then you're back in my store begging and asking me
if I wouldn't be so kind to sell you more
then it's: dear Ståle! sell me a little more!
just a small FM tuner, please!
one with oscilloscope and LED display
and touch-sensitive threshold level
with power muting, I need it!
deep-sea regulator with four hectoliters of mussels on the threshold in each channel
if I don't get new speakers now I'll throw myself in the ocean
and hang myself from the bridge
listen Ståle, I must, I must have more!

so there, so there, yes yes my child
as long as I get money, you'll get yours
shall we say 150 kroner per watt
then we'll add two percent cash discount
you know it's cheaper than opium but more expensive than marijuana
if you don't want it, there's a guy in Mo i Rana
yes, your pusher is called Ståle Krapyl
and what you need is at the city's hi-fi asylum!