Imagina

I never saw my parents share a kiss
Everyone talks about love, but I never see it
They split up when I was just a kid, backpack size
I watched their fights from the front row
They say they love me and I pretend to believe it
If that were true, it wouldn’t need to be said
And it reached my ears how it could have been
Better, their lives, if I hadn’t been born
Dad moved to Germany, I got left behind
Mom married in Angola, I grew up alone
Anything goes to try to get ahead, right?
Deep down, I’m just the result of something that went wrong
Child of absent parents, I belong to this niche
I kept the Mother’s Day gift, until I threw it in the trash
I gained inches along the way, but lost the affection
For everything I learned to do on my own
They gave their best, that’s what hurts the most
They say one day I’ll switch places with my parents
But I’ll truly love my partner, in my home
And to my child, I’ll give all the love I never felt

I never felt, I never felt, I never felt
I never felt, I never felt, I never felt
I never felt, I never felt, I never felt

I never felt what I feel for you with anyone else
I love you and I’m not one to say "I love you" lightly
I’ve spent my whole life searching for a love like this
I met you, understood that the search was over
To my eyes, you’re the wonder of creation
Reason for me to want to be my best version
More than attraction, you hear my heart’s erection
Every fiber of my body points in your direction
More than what I want, you’re what I need
Being with you was like having a ticket to paradise
My best friend, I’m your best friend
And so I declare, in this letter, my old love
She folds the paper with her eyes shining bright
I’m anxious and nervous, leaning in to kiss
Rui, why are you doing this to me now?
I’m moving to London, she says while crying
You’re special to me, nothing will change, don’t forget
But the love you want to give me, please don’t offer it
Sometimes life is like this, I wanted to say yes
But that love you feel for me

I never felt, I never felt, I never felt
I never felt, I never felt, I never felt
I never felt, I never felt, I never felt

Imagine everyone in black, rain after Carnival
Family gathered, that was never usual
Flowers fall, cascading into the grave
The final goodbye, the body turns to mineral
The last time I spoke to you, I congratulated you
I asked: You good, little bro, when are you coming?
I wanted to see you in the hospital, but I ran out of time
You said: It’s all good, cousin, no stretcher needed
I’m getting better, just a bit more and I’m out
Relax, in a week I’ll be home
A week goes by and they called me with the news
Now I’m looking at you in an unresponsive body
And a while back, your mom asked me to advise you
That maybe you’d listen if it were me talking
That you should take better care of your health
I said I wouldn’t say anything, that you were already an adult
But your death put my whole life in perspective
I feel guilty for not stopping your nights out
I feel guilty because I didn’t love you like I should
I feel guilty, I feel a pain that won’t ease
I feel like a fool because if I died in your place
I’d die a virgin, unloved, with dreams unfulfilled
I just wanted to live life while you were still here
I never knew how to live until living life without you.