Hércules (Destripando La Historia)

Hello, young demigods
Welcome to Gutting History with Pascu and Rodri
Today we bring you the great hero of Greek mythology
Hercules!

There was a day when Zeus thought (Zeus thought)
I liked the woman of that Amphitryon
He's your great-grandson! I don't care!
And he went with his wife

And when it ends, Amphitryon returns (he returned)
Hello, Alcmena, I'm back, I'm going to give you my love
And after a while, twins are born from different fathers
It's possible, we have verified it: Iphicles and Hercules

Hera, who was Zeus' wife
Was not happy with her husband's amorous escapades
And decided to try to kill the twins
Sending some snakes

But she didn't count on his colossal strength
He strangles them
While in the cradle
He grows up being an animal

He learned to play the lyre
He killed his teacher without thinking
And with his strength he defeated
A lion in Cithaeron
(He had an army of children, yeah)

He married Megara
And fathered even more children
And Hera with her magic
Drove our hero mad
(He kills his children, yeah)

Repentant, he goes to the Oracle of Delphi, which tells him
That he must overcome 12 labors imposed by King Eurystheus
So he sets off on the adventure with his nephew Iolaus
He killed the Nemean lion, he killed the Lernaean Hydra
He captured the Ceryneian Hind, he captured the Erymanthian Boar
He cleaned the Augean stables, he killed the Stymphalian Birds
He captured the Cretan Bull, he stole the Mares of Diomedes
He stole the girdle of Hippolyta, he stole the cattle of Geryon
He stole the Apples of the Hesperides
And he brought Cerberus out of the underworld

(He did it)
And after this he felt better (he felt better)
He married two princesses (what a ladies' man!)

And one kills him with a blanket
That had blood
That was from a centaur, it was poisonous
And he catches fire yeah

(It burned me damn)

And so the song ends
Of our Greek champion
But first we must mention
Those to whom he gave his love
Who were many and varied, yeah

Plutarch tells us only a few
Abderus, Admetus, Adonis, Coritus
Helacatas, Euphemus, Phrixus, Hylas
Iphitus, Jason, Nestor, Nireus, Philoctetes
And Iolaus, his damn nephew

He tried everything
With maidens and lads
Hallelujah Hercules!