La chose

There are those who do the thing
Staring at the ceiling
Or counting the flies
That are on the table
There are those who do the thing
Thinking about the cash
And those who think of nothing
'Cause it's just too draining

There are those who do the thing
Wondering why it’s so
And those who do the thing
Like they’re made of wood
Those who during the thing
Start to stutter
And are surprised later
To have quintuplets

There are those who do the thing
Singing a little song
Keeping the beat
Tapping their heels
There are those who do the thing
Always a bit aloof
'Cause it’s the only way
To have some kids

Those who during the thing
Let out violent screams
So the neighbors think
They’re having a good time
There are those who do the thing
Without passion or desire
'Cause it’s the only thing
That really helps you lose weight

There are those who do the thing
To break some records
All those whose charms
Are just a guestbook
There are those who do the thing
With some props
Who need a trumpet
Or maybe a seesaw

Those who when the thing
Is already done
Wonder if the thing
Is about to start
There are those who do the thing
Not for the thrills
Just once a year
For the benefits

They have sad eyes and tense necks
The failures of the game
They do the thing in coats
The failures of forbidden fruit
'Cause all those to whom
The thing does nothing
Don’t like those to whom
The thing does good.