1999

You wouldn't think the same if you truly understood each of my lyrics
If you saw this story from your dark circles
If you saw from my window
How dreams crawl up the stairs

They dream of money, I dream of people
Filling the void with fake laughter
Here we operate seasonally, the game ends and we return in the early hours
And I haven't told you anything, but last night I dreamed of your face

And I woke up wanting to see it again
I swear I'm going to take in the view
Just to show you that I'm worth it
And how beautiful it was when I had nothing and you were the one giving

When those lows hardly mattered
When the cold was only because of winter
And the nerves from the first drags
And I'm not even twenty and I already feel old

Heading towards twenty and I cry like a child
Sometimes it's better to look back
Because everything ahead is very dark
I'm living, but I don't feel alive

Like seeing my grave from afar, I won't approach if I'm not okay with myself
From here I can blow a couple of kisses
All my life looking for a way out that didn't even exist
I don't handle goodbyes very well

Luckily I've only stepped foot in the funeral home a few times
But I've seen death in people who still breathe
The worst of all is the lie, the bad streaks that don't end
When the sky falls on us and the world sweats

You realize that nothing is as you thought, almost everything is sold, almost everything is paid for
They want drugs and money to feel big
Something's wrong and they don't really know what
I'm content with having you

Close to me even if I can hardly see you
One more round and everyone goes home
We've gone overboard without knowing what's happening
I'm looking for myself and I can't find me, mom

Let me try, let them stop and let the rate explode
If I go out I'll get into trouble and come back tomorrow
Don't worry dad, there's nothing in the den
The wound doesn't heal, the worst part is that I love how complicated it is

Forever your gaze fixed on my skull
Who are you looking at, who do you confide in, who are you waiting for?
Who do you love, or who do you want to love you?
Take care of your family and those who will only be there in the good times
8th of September '99, heartfelt dates

Mom, I swear my soul falls when you cry
I've hurt people, I've shattered expectations
I've sunk into misery, for fake sorrows
Crying a piano, I thank music

Therapies in places of restless minds
With colorful lights and unique nights
99 bad streaks in those demos
Looking at the sky, the stars of the few who understand me

Shine if you win and shine just the same if you lose
To reach the top you have to know how to feel big
And you don't solve anything by just hiding
If it were up to me, I'd drink to the ground for both of us

Because I don't want a couple of kisses, I want one
For my blood brother and for those who aren't
Ink on my skin, and in your hair my smoke
That's love