Ausente

I don't feel like doing anything, just want to vomit
If there are no tears left from crying so much
I know I have to be positive and wait
But it's like tossing a coin and letting chance decide

And what will become of me and this wound
If one of the engines of my life goes out?
Maybe there's nothing to cushion my fall
I feel lost, but I'm looking for a way out

I look around, everything is dark in here
Everything goes so slow, although I fight against time
And I feel so weak, so fragile, I'm pitiful
It's as if my blood isn't flowing and is escaping from my veins

Leaving me empty and vulnerable
In this place everything seems endless
Miserable life, do you want to see me broken?
I feel it, I know you'll try to cause me irreparable harm

Meanwhile... I'm still in this damn waiting room
Where only what God wants will happen, even if it doesn't exist
My body can't take it, even though it asks me to resist
My vision blurs, I'd trade places with you if I could

I have to be optimistic, they say
Now I want to get rid of all of you
Please let me calm down
I need space, now I just want to be alone

I feel you so close and yet so far
I know you were happy even though you left me early
And I'm aware that you weren't human
But to me, you were always like a brother

I feel you so close and yet so far
I know you were happy even though you left me early
And I'm aware that you weren't human
But to me, you were always like a brother

My eyes get misty as I sing
As I count every minute without being close to you
While I die of agony here
While I keep searching non-stop for a way for you to stay by my side

I was never prepared to lose you so soon
I look into nothing thinking about how to face it
I had strength and confidence
I clung to hope blindly, like a fool

And now all I have left is the memory
I don't know how much longer I can stay sane
My smile is in captivity
Now I'm just another person with a serious face

Every habit stabs me like a dagger
Not being able to hug you hurts so much
But for you, I'll try not to be bad
I miss you, you can't imagine how much

I feel you so close and yet so far
I know you were happy even though you left me early
And I'm aware that you weren't human
But to me, you were always like a brother

I feel you so close and yet so far
I know you were happy even though you left me early
And I'm aware that you weren't human
But to me, you were always like a brother

This has been left empty without you
I'll try to be strong like you until my last breath
Nothing can fill the void you left in me
I know what you fought for to stay by my side

I don't know if I'll ever be myself again, I've gone crazy
I don't even know if time will fix me a bit
I saw you laugh, cry, I saw you grow
You were my greatest support, the most loyal friend

I already miss the habits, everything we did together
I don't know how you did it, but every day
You managed to make me happy, period
Where are you now?, I wonder

I feel empty, incomplete
This silence, this situation is so annoying
And I know it's no secret
But even though you're gone, you'll always be alive in my heart