Ich bin Klempner von Beruf

I am a plumber by profession,
A triple cheer to the one who created this golden craft!
Even in the greatest troubles
There is always something to solder
There are always mishaps
With toilets and bathtubs,
I am a plumber by profession.

Recently I installed a boiler,
It worked well for two days.
Then it was three days old and the hot water cold.
Well, I didn't repair it for long,
But immediately installed a new one.

And then the customer asked me afterwards,
If repairing wouldn't be cheaper after all?
I quickly replied: "Your ancient model
Is no longer produced by the company today,
And spare parts are no longer available."

I am a plumber by profession,
A triple cheer to the one who created this golden craft!
Even in severe economic crises
I find pipes behind tiles,
To cause an accident
And seal a drain,
I am a plumber by profession.

Yesterday afternoon a customer knocked,
He said his sewer pipe was blocked.
I quickly renewed the seal,
And then the direction was already correct.
If you plug a stopper in the pipe,
It may cause the return bend to drip.

But probably a double flange was jammed,
So I immediately broke open the wall
And pierced the half plot
And broke through the apartment wall
And flooded the neighboring apartment as well,
There is nothing that stops a plumber.

I am a plumber by profession,
A triple cheer to the one who created this golden craft!
Faucets will always drip,
Sinks will always clog,
There is always something to weld,
To dismantle and tear down,
I am a plumber by profession.

Last Pentecost, I think it was around half past seven,
A man called, completely upset.
A pipe had burst at his place,
He was soaking wet to the bone
And it was gushing, and gurgling, and cracking.
"Great," I said, "It will be fixed immediately."

On a foggy November day
I first brought him the cost estimate.
He still has to swim to the basement
And climb his roof at night,
Because before June I won't lift a hammer,
Everyone has their worries nowadays.

I am a plumber by profession,
A triple cheer to the one who created this golden craft!
There will always be a few sockets
To dismantle and re-buff
There will always be something to splash around,
To connect to the faucets,
I am a plumber by profession.

On Friday there was a complaint,
A customer criticized the installation:
Whenever he draws water
Natural gas collects in the bowl
And if the phone rings by chance,
There may be some violent detonation.

I solved the problem very elegantly
By connecting the phone and the faucet.
Now when the phone rings in the receiver
The kitchen will be flooded
And through this masterful trick of my hand
Now every risk of explosion is averted.

I am a plumber by profession,
A triple cheer to the one who created this golden craft!
In villas and in sheds
There are nuts to screw
Even in castles, old and proud,
There are clamps to bolt,
I am a plumber by profession.

Being thorough is every plumber's duty,
Last Thursday a pipe was not completely tight.
Tightening a nut
Is not all that easy,
Because if a bow clamp breaks,
Often the pressure sleeve does not reduce!

Therefore, from the basement to the roof
I laid all new pipes, and afterwards
I also renewed the refrigerator,
Which made the matter more expensive,
But no customer can accuse me
Of doing half the work during work.

I am a plumber by profession,
A triple cheer to the one who created this golden craft!
Left hand the tool bag,
Twenty wrench, thermos bottle,
Right hand my pipe wrench,
I won't be afraid so quickly,
I am a plumber by profession.

And if plumbers are no longer needed,
Well then I'll just become a plumber!