Sabotage

I thought I had started running, but why
Feels like I'm the only one sabotaging
In the space between yes and no
Bad habits cling to me

It shouldn't be like this
After all, I gathered things and people I love
What was that again?

Somehow now
I feel like I want to love rather than be loved
Will I make it in time?
I'll carve it out so I won't disappear like this

Even though we're always at odds
Why is it that I'm the only one sabotaging anyway?
What were those mistakes once or twice?
Counting 1, 2, 3, 4

Then let's start over from here
Gather up the things and people you love
Even as I'm being left behind
I found fragments of my true self
Will I make it in time?
I'll carve it out so I won't disappear like this

Even if I can't do anything, even if I have nothing
I thought chasing after it now was fun
Surely I'm withering
But I'm shining
Ah, I'm alive

Somehow now
I feel like I want to love rather than be loved
Will I make it in time?
I don't want to disappear like this
This is who I am
I can say it with a little pride now