No Puedo

I have created an inner world from which I don't know how to escape
I have lied to myself so much and I have lost so much by pretending
I have been submerged in a state of sadness for years
And I don't even have the certainty of being able to continue
There are things in my mind impossible to describe
I've tried a thousand times without success and yet
I hold onto hope, a lance to fight
I still believe that one day I will suddenly be happy
But in the meantime, I remain tormented and frustrated
And it hurts because I don't even understand what has happened
I know I don't like myself, I don't like what I do
That's why I walk alone, I get upset and I escape
My life revolves around a wrong thought
I didn't learn to live
I stayed dying in the past
And now I'm there
Comparing everything I have
And cursing myself for what I could never achieve

I know you feel there's no light inside you
That you're trapped within a wall of pain
That there's nothing for you around
That the clock has too many hours

I can't be happy all the time, do you understand?
I have a hell inside, I'm not up for stories
Give me silence if you intend to help
And if you want to leave, I'll understand, I'm sorry
I hardly ever leave my thoughts
I live here in this unbalanced mind
That runs away when given everything
And revels in tears when there's nothing left
I don't know how long I have until all this ends
But I only think about leaving
I can't find that reason to make me stay
They say I have everything, but it's not enough for me
Sometimes I can't even hear myself
There are dozens of voices that want to hurt me
Sometimes it's conscience and other times memory
But only your voice can save me
I wish I could stop thinking about everything and disappear
Your presence kills me, because I know I'm not good for you
Your eyes pierce my soul and my heart
I know I yell at you and I have no reason
I wish you would stab a dagger in my head
So I wouldn't dwell on this situation anymore
And I wish I had met you in another life
Where we were nothing and I didn't cause you pain

I know you feel there's no light inside you
That you're trapped within a wall of pain
That there's nothing for you around
That the clock has too many hours

I have come to think that I am cursed, even
That sometimes it would be best to say goodbye
I don't know where all this accumulated anger comes from because
Only the idea of dying calms me
Feeling the peace and the gentle embrace of death that takes me
Feeling and seeing how my soul rises
The sorrow with which I walk only blinds me
I can't see the beauty of life even if I want to
I live dragging my sentence
That's the truth, even if it hurts
I'm not the same since I've grown up
The years falling on my shoulders
And all leave scars
I keep observing the world from my fishbowl
Death tells me, 'Let's go'
Life says, 'Don't move me'
I want you to be happy, I swear, but
It will be without me, I'll watch you from out here

I know you feel there's no light inside you (I know you feel)
That you're trapped within a wall of pain (Look at yourself)
That there's nothing for you around
That the clock has too many hours (Listen)

I know you feel there's no light inside you (You can)
That you're trapped within a wall of pain
That there's nothing for you around
That the clock has too many hours

But I see the light inside you
I know this pain won't last forever
When you understand your true worth...
Your clock will want more hours