Carta a Mi Ansiedad

I write against you, anxiety
To tell you, you can't beat me
I've never been the same since we coexisted
I met you at the end of that dark 2007
When you settled to live in my brain
You damn daughter, you've screwed me in a thousand ways
A lump in the throat, pressure in the aorta
Insomnia, cold sweats, muscle cramps
Tingling in the hands, hypochondria, cowardly depression
You stole precious moments of my life
Listening to you instead of my present
You taught me there's always a way out
Made me want to leave but come back stronger
You made me shout at my parents, act selfishly
Take out my anger on my girlfriend and hate myself
I've been traveling to beautiful places
Just thinking about coming back feeling horrible
It's so hard to write to you, the problem is in me
I know you don't exist, I know you're not there
It's just my head playing out my fears
It would be easy to get rid of you but I feel like I can't
Thanks to music, I forget you exist
I introduced you to my fans through sad songs
When I'm well, I remember you as a joke
I've defeated you a thousand times but you always come back
I'll defeat you as many times as necessary
I'm stronger than you, music gives me wings
My family, my friends, my partner, and my fans
We are many against you, you'll never win
To those in the same situation, I say
Don't give up, the sun will always rise
I write this song, it's my fourth sleepless night
With more strength than ever to face you

Life isn't meant to suffer without reason
Because then it hits you hard and truly makes you suffer
I don't think I deserve this damn punishment
I don't want to live with you
Fuck you, Anxiety
Let me fly, finally smile
I want to forget you, I want to forget you

You accompanied me in Granada, in Salamanca
On a cruise, you damn bitch, ruining the whole trip
Give me back the time you owe me and the experiences
Because of you, I ran away
I moved from Valencia
Because of you, I quit weed, drugs, and I thank you
The more harm you do, the more I grow
You made me see who my true friends are
Those who are there when you're well but not when you're down
You made me value life and happiness
That sometimes you have to cry no matter how tough you are
That there will always be people who never let you down
Like mom and dad when life hits you
And you wanted me locked up and I've traveled the world
You wanted me sad, I've smiled at everyone
You wanted me alone but my people are my world
And you're leaving my world, sorry, fuck off
Leave me alone once and for all
I'm not asking for anything weird, just want to be normal
Not think about you anymore, not on trips, parties, or at home unable to disconnect
Tired of my nights turning into hell
Tossing in bed praying to fall asleep
In a duel with my mind feeling like a damn sick person
And in the end, I write this in the notebook
Tired of pessimism, hurting myself
Feeling how I fall into this abyss
Let me fly
If everything has a solution except death but that's precisely what I want to solve
I wish I could believe in God, everything would be easier
I wish I could cry, not a single tear falls
I wish I could make it happen, not just almost
How to move on from you if I haven't even turned the page?

Life isn't meant to suffer without reason
Because then it hits you hard and truly makes you suffer
I don't think I deserve this damn punishment
I don't want to live with you
Fuck you, Anxiety
Let me fly, finally smile
I want to forget you, I want to forget you

I didn't ask to be born, but I was
I don't want to die but in the end, I'll die like all the people I love or will love
Everything is so tragic that I think, what for, huh? Anyway
I wish I could believe in those self-help books
But reality is much harsher
I can write beauty like Neruda's verses
Because even in the darkest, the Moon still shines

Life isn't meant to suffer without reason
Because then it hits you hard and truly makes you suffer
I don't think I deserve this damn punishment
I don't want to live with you
Fuck you, Anxiety
Let me fly, finally smile
I want to forget you, I want to forget you