Querido Insomnio

Goodnight, dear insomnia
You are the closest thing to talking to the devil
We are tied like a holy matrimony
I swear on my life, you don't know how much I hate you
You make me write sad and pessimistic themes
Questioning if I should continue with this life

You remind me that death is around the corner
And it doesn't matter who you are, you can't escape it
It's your fault the dark circles I have when I arrive at work
It's your fault the pills I consume
It's your fault these letters full of hatred and pain
Waking up in a bad mood and not even trying the breakfast made with love

I curse everything
Wrapped by the day, night falls and I'm alone
With your company that I don't want and detest
I wish you would leave but you keep hurting (hurting, hahaha)
(Hahaha, ahhh)

I've spent periods sleeping only about four hours
A day, and every day, fighting in case it gets better
Looking at the alarm clock at five in the morning
And in three damn hours I have to get out of bed
Back to work, pretending nothing is happening

Smiling at my friends as if nothing is going on
Nerves on edge, hiding my state
Bordering on depression and this anxiety is killing me
Another night you spend visiting me
Another day I don't perform because of you

Another night you manage to make me hate myself
And my friend, you are a son of a bitch
Neither pills, nor infusions, nor counting sheep
It's useless if you come and clear my mind
I'm in a prison even if I don't see the bars
Praying to a God I don't believe in to see if you finally go away
(Ahh, hahaha)

And the next day, at work like a zombie
Not writing songs because my brain is still
With junkie-like dark circles, barely any strength
Knowing the enemy is inside my head
And you come back, when you seemed defeated
When I'm at my best, you break what I've achieved

Along with anxiety, because you are hand in hand
Both specialists in the art of harming me
I drink my tears and eat the ceiling
My heart racing is tearing my chest apart
I feel like a waste, I think it's not fair
And as long as you're with me, I'll never be satisfied
(Hahahahahahaha)

I'm not crazy, don't look at me like I'm crazy
I'm someone like you, shouting for help
Yesterday I touched the sky and today I'm hitting rock bottom
But I swear on my own that I'll defeat this shit
My head is a psychological thriller
I'm not even thirty and already depend on narcotics

Chronic stress and I feel caged
Like a tiger in the zoo
Numb hands, neck contractions
Tension through the roof, dark circles on the floor
Fans asking me to release new songs
But if I'm not well, I don't care about rap
During the week, forty hours in the office

Weekends concerts, events, signings
No time for friends, sports, or my girl
This damn lifestyle is going to kill me
Eating little, sleeping poorly, sacrificing all my social life
I'm living a dream I can't enjoy
That turns into a nightmare and I just want to wake up
Many write to me, thanking me for what I do
Saying my songs have saved their lives
It fills my heart to have managed to help you
Although I only write to see if I can save mine
As a child, the boogeyman, as a teenager, cocaine
Now anxiety and this masochistic mind
I don't live the crazy life
I, I live the broken life