Turorial Para No Querernos

I told God to put me in my place and He put me between your legs
And it’s the worst of my dilemmas
I don’t know if heaven is twisted or understanding of my pain
Better let’s change the subject

The thrill of meeting wasn’t the same as getting to know each other
We closed our eyes, we’re crazy for believing
We wanted to call this lack of trust fear
We wanted to give each other space when we had plenty of gaps

I can’t forget those texts: You’re an expert
How you write about me while you’re breaking us apart
You ask me, how do humans love?
I couldn’t explain it, with you I stopped being one

We set limits, but I went in blind faith
Too young to not take the risks
You betrayed these little eyes that once saw you
I ended up drowning in the same water I use to water

Talk to me about the dirty nights you lived
How life treated you since that day you left
I had so much to say to you
And the desire for the apologies you never offered me

I ask for the permission I never granted myself
Talking to myself is an inappropriate dialogue
You told me you were leaving and I asked when?
If when you were here it seemed like you were staying without being here
After you, I avoided all kinds of touch
I declared myself in a physical pandemic
Pure zero contact
You’re not here to understand it nor am I to explain it
Even touching myself has to be consensual
The sheets had more doubts than saliva
And our lips more lies than cigarettes
Our eyes know how to challenge each other, not see each other
Not even the blind have this way of loving

And we made a tutorial on how not to love each other
Filling every part of these bodies with last times
I’ve learned how to think of you without missing you
I smile at the photo, but not when I see us

I’m not leaving for someone else, I’m leaving because now I’m someone else
I’ll watch you while you sleep, you remember me in the photos
I’ll put my face on TV, I’m going to travel the globe
I swear I’ll fulfill my dream, the one that was once ours

I told you I love you and I ended up breaking you
It wasn’t sex, but… I finished you inside
Don’t take it personally, it’s what I was learning
The problem is this rehearsal was on your body

I break everything I touch, that’s why I touch you less
Today I feel healthier, being away from your breasts
Sorry if I write too raw, I was really drunk yesterday
I played your voice notes and turned them into my proverbs
It hurt so much that I didn’t see you were hurting
I don’t know if it’s empathy or a tender caress to the ego
And now I live in hell, thinking about how to forget you
It’s the most horrible way not to do it

I miss the little faces you make at me
I designed a nursery in the center of your abdomen
I discovered the demon of such a noble woman
I’m not going to win a Grammy because I deserve a Nobel

Your nails on my skin, your eyes in my lyrics
I’ll forget you only in the meantime
I don’t forget our turns, you were a monument
That even feminism used as a protest object

I know I wasn’t to blame, but I hope you forgive me
You were good to me, you taught me to be a man
It’s been 30 songs, I never mentioned your name
I promised to protect you from my worst intentions

We don’t know how to be together but it’s scary to be alone
So good at hitting, but such different poles
And one day you left, you didn’t even leave the dust
You chose the goodbye that spoke the worst of us