Perdon

This is a story I wouldn't want to tell
It's impossible to forget and it hurts so much to remember
It's still stuck in my chest, I think one day it might explode
They want real perfect rap, let's start
It was 2009, I started rapping with alcohol
And the excesses didn't let me think
Every time I left home, my mom started praying
She knew the day I left, but not when I would return
And my routine was to be crazy and party
Lots of drugs, lots of streets, sleeping on the sidewalk
And that's how I lost 10 years of my life in the deepest
When I wanted to react, I was already lying at the bottom
Poverty in a whole life in my father's illness
Long early mornings were my mother's tears
That sad night, I danced tango with death
I didn't know what it was that one day my luck would change

That day, mom, I remember what you said
Son, don't be late, your father is very sad
He hasn't eaten, he's not hungry, he's just been there quietly
Don't go with your friends, better stay by his side
I have a commitment, mom, I had already agreed
I'll just go for a while and come back, I won't be late
Take your phone to be able to call you
Mother, I don't have it, I lost it at the restaurant
That tragic day, I thought the night was mine
Having a great time was the only thing I knew
When the alcohol ran out, we went for more still
Nights and days under the effects, days were passing

That dark day, I didn't know what I was doing, not the alcohol
I was drinking, not the drugs I was taking, hanging out
With my homies and with chicks I didn't even know, I remember
Getting a hit from a damn cop
I went out to get some air with a cigarette in hand
Not knowing if I was drunk, coked up, or high
It's midnight, it's still somewhat early
A pickup truck arrived at the bar and my two brothers got out
Are you partying? Come on, this is just starting
Bro, it's our dad and mom is looking for you

Bro, what's going on, look at yourself, you're messed up
But how's my dad, get in, I'll explain up there
My vision blurred, a homie accompanied me, what he told me
My mother's words spun in my head, my buddy slapped me
He said calm down, bro, you'll see him when we get there
At the hospital, I want to see my father, tell him something important
Something I've never told him before, if I could
Go back a few days to hug you, addiction made me foolish
And that's what hurts me the most, we started
With the saddest side of the song, life punished me
Without any compassion, with eyes closed
Maybe I said a prayer asking for my father
For his recovery, talking to God, things
That come from the heart, I know in my argument

This time I have no reason, the truck stopped, ending my illusion
Seeing that it was the entrance to the wake room, time
Stopped and there was only confusion, my mother crying
Said where the hell were you, we've been looking for you for days
Without direction or purpose, your father died the day before yesterday
The damn cancer defeated him, this morning is the mass and his cremation will continue
Go see him before, he's fine and quiet in his casket, mother
I couldn't tell him, I couldn't explain, but what you wanted to tell him
I wanted to ask for forgiveness