Der Kleine Mann Von Der Straße

I searched on Sundays in the city for a nice glass of wine
Because TV never invites me to have a morning drink
There stood a tiny little man on the street corner
No bigger than a thumb and waved his hand
I immediately assessed him as a hitchhiker
And gently placed him in my left ear
The next traffic light was red, but my passenger shouted:
'I'm in a hurry, you square, start running!' and I ran
A policeman saw that and said: 'Hey, how do you appear to me
To walk here at a red light, do you have a little man in your ear!'
I think he's clever, I must admit
'So Detlef, come out, he saw you'
The constable spoke and his face turned ashen
'Who are you talking to? It seems you're not normal!'
'No,' I say laughing and he turns red again
'You're absolutely right, I'm an idiot'
He calls out relieved: 'Oh, you're an idiot!' and that's heard
By a passerby who exclaims indignantly: 'Well, that's outrageous!
An officer publicly insults an innocent man
We'll report him for negligent defamation!'
He stops a police car, explains everything and yet
The cops come after me, I raise my hands up
So they don't, as is often read
Shoot me in so-called 'putative self-defense'
It's hard to understand, but it always hits
The one who has the least guilt in the whole affair
Everyone stays out of things as much as they can
Because in the end, the fool is always the little man
'What's going on now?' asks the patrol, as they want to leave quickly
Then a corpulent man speaks up
Who has been aiming his umbrella at me the whole time
And whose face strongly resembles a buttocks:
'I've seen everything and now my patience is wearing thin
This guy,' he points at me, 'is to blame for the crowd!'
A housewife who enjoys cooking passes by and ponders
Whether a crowd can be garnished with bacon strips
The stenographer desperately asks for attention
Asking what he should write now, he doesn't understand anything anymore
The man in my ear says: 'Before you think too long
Write yourself down first, for stupidity on duty!'
While I stand there with my arms raised
Now a brass band of the Salvation Army appears
They play 'Jesus, my Confidence' for me
But that doesn't fill me with much optimism
A local resident shouts
To her neighbor: 'Is it already carnival time?'
To which her neighbor replies: 'No, no
It's probably just another student parade'
A group of teenagers, a kind of rockers mix
Yell: 'There's a protest over there, hey, let's join in!'
And they immediately ask the Salvation Army:
'Guys, don't you have 'The Internationale'?
It's hard to understand, but it always hits
The one who has the least guilt in the whole event
Everyone stays out of things as much as they can
Because in the end, the fool is always the little man
The gawking crowd has by now perhaps
Reached the population of Castrop-Rauxel
The fat man with the umbrella has of course seen this coming
He rants: 'Riot!' and now even more people stop
He smells subversion and treason
And when a pensioner approaches with flyers
The poor old man almost dies of excitement
Because he's only promoting egg braids on his leaflets
This makes the fat man beside himself with anger
And when Detlef also shouts: 'Get lost, you ass with ears!'
I console him by saying that it sometimes succeeds
To make a face out of a butt, if you paint it well
He wails: 'Please take that back, you swine!'
And mercilessly beats me with his umbrella
Unfortunately, I lose my little man
Which I can't find again even in the excitement
Finally, the police intervene. To restore order
They take the rockers and the Salvation Army into preventive custody
This measure proves to be extremely clever
The gathering has now dispersed in no time
Even the fat man makes himself inconspicuous
But for Detlef, leaving doesn't make much sense anymore
His last words are: 'Man, I'm done!'
He means it literally, because the crowd has trampled him
It's hard to understand, but it always hits
The one who has the least guilt in the whole affair
The little man, who never gets involved in things
Of course, he's the one who always gets it the worst
(Ouch!)