Süße Träume

I'm disappointed in all the women in this world
Because you always end up on your face
That's it!
I only care about food and pleasure now
Means to an end are for me
Not salted almonds or pickles
I lean more towards sweet:
What I like
Is jam, cake, and confectionery
Especially no meat, no fatty sausage
No corned beef
Because my stomach seems to say:
No, I can't handle it
I always carry a candy with me wherever I go
So recently

I came from one of those parties
In my bag, many colorful smarties
And outside the door, I saw a young woman in the car
Hopelessly trying to start it
I politely said: 'Stop it, Martha!
Earlier, I walked along here
There was an animal in your tank
I gave it some sugar cubes
It gladly accepted them
But it seems it didn't agree with it
So, miss, may I ask
The one over there is my ride
I'll take you home.'
She was torn
Wanted to kiss me excitedly
But I said:
'better get lost, honey, you know:
Candies are sweeter to me
Than any girl could ever be!'

I don't want to brag
But I own a sports convertible
With an eight-fold nailed perm
And an overhead glove compartment
As I rushed over the gravel road with squealing tires
The girl noticed:
'Well, you're driving quite fast with your Isetta
Especially, your cushions are so soft!'
I turned pale:
'oh no, no!', I just shouted
Because she was sitting on my marshmallows
And I asked her: 'listen, sweet
There are candied nuts in the first aid kit
Give me a few
My body needs it now!'
She gave them to me and said:
'but kisses taste sweeter.'
I said: 'nonsense, these things here
Are made of one hundred percent cane sugar
The family dentist gives them
So he has something to drill on the weekend!'

Then she got out
Because we were already in front of her house
But she had taken a bag of sweets from me
Waved it at me and shouted:
'get them, you little cookie monster!'
Under her balcony
I sang the song:
'martha, martha. give me back my gummy bears!'
She threw them at me
One grazed my temple
I dragged myself to the car
Could only say gasping:
'you know, you know, better get lost, honey:
Candies are sweeter to me
Than any girl could ever be!'

I harbored resentment
And I know, you should
To forget your anger
Eat well and abundantly
So I ordered in my regular pub
A cup of hot syrup with a lot of sugar
Along with a buttercream cake with cocoa-based fat glaze
And a pinch of hexamethylenetetramine
I was right in the middle
When the girl with sugar in the gas appeared
I asked politely: 'here too?'
She sat down next to me
And said: 'look...'
'oh, you can address me informally', I offered
But she repeated obstinately: 'look
That cake there is not good for you
One day, the sugar rage will catch you
'delirium candis' - says the specialist
Mind and body weaken
No vitamins, no calcium, only glucose
Everything goes to hell
Your teeth, the digestive system
Everything falls apart
And my so-called friends
Immediately jumped on the bandwagon
That's when I shouted: 'you stupid lemon suckers
Calorie counters and vitamin C apostles
Admittedly, my dentures are pretty colorful
So what?
What does that even mean?
I can still bite into pudding just fine!
So you better get lost all of you:
Candies are sweeter to me
Than any girl could ever be!'

Good night
Sweet dreams
To you