¿Quien mató a Tom McCoffee?

PIANIST:
Sometimes I wonder, if as a child I was happy,
at home we were very close, we lived in a sad little room
my eleven siblings, fifteen cousins, the cat and an aunt, the cat's aunt,
also my mother, my father and my stepfather,
a huge female dog and her puppy, the son of the great female dog,
all in the same little room, at home we were very close.
Uuuuuuuuuh!

Everyone mistreated me, mistreated me
my only friend was the puppy,
slept in my bed, ate from my plate,
barked at me, bit me, peed on me,
the son of the great female dog.

- It's useless, friend, she can't see it, she's completely blind

LIEUTENANT STANLEY: Hey, black girl, hey you, black girl

- It's useless, friend, I already told you she's blind, she doesn't know she's black. She thinks she's the daughter of Poles, hey, they're looking for you, Maria Buslowski.

LIEUTENANT: Hey you, the pianist, we are Lieutenant Stanley and Sergeant Morrison from the homicide department.

PIANIST: You are not Lieutenant Stanley.

LIEUTENANT: Correct, I am Lieutenant Stanley, he is Sergeant Morrison, my assistant, tell me, do you know Tom McCoffee, saxophonist, songwriter?

PIANIST: Yes, but I didn't kill him.

LIEUTENANT: And how do you know he was killed?

PIANIST: Huh?, oh, hahaha, very good, well, he had to die sometime.

LIEUTENANT: They found him dead, poisoned with cyanide.

PIANIST: With cyanide?

LIEUTENANT: Yes, to top it off, cyanide in poor condition, did you know him or not?

PIANIST: How could I not know him, that man was my husband. Oh poor Tom! you won't compose songs anymore, for your girl to sing. (crying) There goes the black widow, the black widow.

LIEUTENANT: Wow, wow.
(to Sergeant Morrison) it's a way of saying, it's an idiomatic expression that denotes surprise or annoyance... ???

PIANIST: (crying)

LIEUTENANT: Well, stop crying

PIANIST: Okay

LIEUTENANT: Tell me, you sang Tom McCoffee's songs

PIANIST: Yes, he dedicated some to me, heavens no, I've also gone deaf.

LIEUTENANT: The keyboard cover

PIANIST: He dedicated some to me, like for example "You're an old drunk mule", "Your breath tastes like turpentine plaster" and that beautiful one he dedicated to me titled "Waking up next to you baby" and it goes like this: AAAAAAAAHH!

LIEUTENANT: Hey, do you have any idea who could have killed Tom McCoffee?

PIANIST: Yes, it must have been the damn mobster Black Curls. The last time I was with Tom, Black Curls was with him, that perfume, the perfume Black Curls used I won't forget it as long as I live. I felt something strange that day, he greeted me briefly and told me quietly "you know baby, someone wants to kill me and I don't trust Black Curls"

LIEUTENANT: Wow, wow. Hey you, the violinist, I think I know you, do you have a criminal record?

- Yes, I think so

LIEUTENANT: What do you mean?

- The thing is, I was in prison for 12 years for breaking an unimportant rule... Norma Gonzalez

LIEUTENANT: Hey, so Tom McCoffee played with you guys

- Yes, I think so, Tom McCoffee, no one will ever play like you

PIANIST: You won't compose songs anymore

LIEUTENANT: Tell me, how did you get along with Tom McCoffee

- Good good, I think good, quite well, more or less, but the one who didn't get along with Tom was that guy Black Curls. Black Curls got us stuff.

LIEUTENANT: Ah, he sold coke

- Yes, and sometimes Pepsi too

LIEUTENANT: Hey, weren't you the one who killed Tom McCoffee?

- No, I don't think so

LIEUTENANT: Wow, wow. Hey you, what were you doing on August 23 at 3:15 p.m.

- I was drinking whiskey at Flora's Bar

LIEUTENANT: How can you remember it so quickly?

- Because I'm always drinking whiskey at Flora's Bar

LIEUTENANT: Why do you drink so much?

- To forget a betrayal

LIEUTENANT: What betrayal?

- I don't remember anymore, I think it works

LIEUTENANT: Do you have any idea who could have killed Tom McCoffee?

- Ideas, what you call ideas, I haven't had them in a long time. I just know he owed money to that degenerate Black Curls. So they killed Tom, did they kill him? that must be why he didn't come around anymore. Tom, brother, we won't hear the sound of your instrument anymore.

- No one will ever play like you

PIANIST: You won't compose songs anymore.
(sniffing) Oh! the Black Curls perfume.

LIEUTENANT: Yes, where?

PIANIST: The Black Curls perfume, here's the Black Curls perfume

LIEUTENANT: Where?

PIANIST: Here's the Black Curls perfume, the perfume Black Curls

LIEUTENANT: Look for it, look for it

PIANIST: The perfume, what perfume, I found the Black Curls perfume, the perfume... the perfume...
This is the man.

LIEUTENANT: Sergeant Morrison, you are Black Curls, how nice

SERGEANT MORRISON: Do you think so?

LIEUTENANT: You killed Tom McCoffee

SERGEANT MORRISON: Wow, wow

PIANIST: (laughing) We did it, we did it, the Lieutenant believed everything, he believed I was blind, the Black Curls perfume

- He believed you were a pianist too

- Oh, Tom McCoffee, you won't compose your songs anymore

ALL: Horrendous

- We won't hear the sound of your instrument anymore

ALL: Horrible

- No one will ever play like you

ALL: So out of tune.

Tom McCoffee we killed you
we were the ones who poisoned you
and the wig to Sergeant
we placed in his pocket.

[our poor little eyes]
we endured everything, everything
your instrument, your songs
and also your out of tune.

And if we were criminals
the reasons are musical
vidividividividividi pa pa
deceased, so out of tune
tividividividividividi pa pa (repeat)

Rest in peace
rest in peace
rest in peace
for the good, for the good of Jazz.