Fixer

I can’t sleep until I erase all the memories up to today
I’m dying for a stand-in for the life I’ll live starting tomorrow
Can you let me say it’s okay, then blame you later?
It’s pointless now, so can you let me blame you later?

Promises I can’t keep
My mind gets consumed by every little word that spills out
Nothing makes sense, I can’t do anything
I want to escape, I want to jump, I can’t look away

So
Sink down
Sink down
Until I can’t rise from the ashes
Until I’m bored
Drop it
Drop it
Until it’s time to save me

I chew up the screams that push out the bitter taste of lies
I get through it all with a forced smile and a know-it-all tone
I never wanted to be this way

Today, I wait to be saved by a sleepy, dreamy ideal
The first thing is to speak it out loud
Bite down hard, strong, and painful

Just die, die
If you hate it and don’t know the future or the past
Break it
Break it
If it’s gonna happen, it might as well be a company

The frustration I can’t swallow, the sadness that gives birth to nothing
It’s tasteless, and before I spit it out
Just
Just
Sing the next one

If it’s gonna happen
Dance, dance
Strike the beat before you turn gray
Change, change
Until you fall asleep

If it’s gonna happen
Steal, steal
Expose the lies you’ve bought
I was watching the illusion that clung to my burning head
I was looking at myself.