Yo Era Feliz

I was happy,
I had a white cat that kissed my nose,
a tin dream, a bed, and a game of Parcheesi,
a toothbrush, a mirror, and in April
I’d see the girls strolling in the garden
and the flowers bloomed and died for me.

I was happy,
selling those books, renting a future,
I had misery all parcelled out, I was happy.
The insurance covered the burial so I could die
and the world was another world I made up
and nothing mattered, at any cost to be happy.

Like a puppet
that fate had trapped
like any kite,
any wind pushed me
to get here,
on a cloud I rose
and nothing mattered,
just to keep going
"give up" was a word
"surrender," to die.