Martes 13

But what a shitty day, the sky all cloudy
And I wanted to go out to soak up the sun
Then the neighbor's dog crossed over to my yard
It tore open a garbage bag, and also a couch

I'll fix it later, now I don't even feel like it
I'll go buy something for breakfast at the corner store
Grab some cereal, some oranges, some apples
But I didn't see the wet floor, slipped back

I wake up in the ambulance, what the hell is happening?
They say I hit my head, I need to calm down
I can't calm down at all, let me out of here, throwing punches
And kicks, I managed to escape

I start walking to the bus stop
When someone yells at me
'Wolty, dude, I'm gonna kill you!'
With a knife in hand, and a twisted look
He lunged at me, trying to stab me

I managed to run away, saved by pure luck
The cat was chasing me, didn't know where to hide
I quickly got into a hotel, in the elevator, 7th floor
As I was going up, suddenly it stops and I say, no
The power went out, damn it, and I had no signal, and no one
Came to help me, I heard screams outside, I started to panic
So I went out through the roof, like in the Yankee movies

I get out of the elevator, and couldn't believe it, an apocalypse
Zombies, and I'm trapped in a hotel
I quickly enter a room, so they can't see me, but they heard me
Those zombies wanted to eat me

I barricade the door as best as I can, and start searching
I find a katana, it was a Samurai's room
So I go out all geared up, start mutilating them
Arms, legs flying, and I start going down

I reach the ground floor, there was the guy with the knife
But turned into a zombie, guess he wasn't so clever
He came at me again, damn crazy zombie, and slash-slash-slash
I cut him like a quince

I leave the building, quickly stole a motorcycle, and
I hit 180, the monsters couldn't catch me
One got in front, and I couldn't dodge it
I crashed, went flying, headfirst into the river

I started swimming, couldn't waste time
While hearing a sound
Something coming from the sky, I look up, a UFO
I see, abducting me with its lights, couldn't move a finger

I wake up in a room, hear something approaching
It was two aliens, speaking a strange language
They took me to their boss, who was quite scary
And kept me as a pet for a long weeks

I gained their trust, because I behaved well
And over time, they took me out of the cage
As soon as I had one foot outside, I punched the guard in the face
Stole his weapon, and shot the boss in the leg

Now you're my hostage, not so funny now
I'm really pissed off, now you'll take me to your gang
They took me to all of them, and in front of their army
I blew his brains out, and said I'm the boss

I became the leader of the planet Birig Bamba
And took them to Earth, to reclaim it
We started killing zombies with Gamma technology
And saved Earth from the looming terror

But there was nothing left, all humans dead
I returned to Birig Bamba, really angry, of course
I ordered the smartest scientists of the empire
To quickly build me a time machine

I also ordered an antidote for Earth
So those damn zombies couldn't live on it
They fulfilled everything, and I bid them farewell
And so I went back in time, to the day this all began

And there I was, seeing the mess the dog made
I approached and said to myself
I'm sorry, Wolty, see you
I had to kill myself, there can't be two of us
I introduced the antidote into the Earth and bye to the dead

There couldn't be zombies anymore, but I still needed the UFO
I took a bazooka, to see if they'd come for me
I see them appearing, and say, ready, bye buddies
I shot a bazooka and they exploded like in two thousand

Done, problem solved, I went back home
I gathered the trash, and buried my body
I lay down in bed, because I was sleepy
And slept deeply, knowing what I had done