Viernes 16

They convinced me, all three were right
Sergeant!
Yes sir?
Put the three in the dungeon and let them rot

It was a maximum security prison
I couldn't easily get out
Even less without an arm and with a thousand cops
They took me to my cell, but I can't handcuff myself
So I turned around, gave a karate punch
I kidnapped that guard and started freeing prisoners
At the same time the prison sent reinforcements
A total war and they weren't winning
I said: This is it, I have to risk my neck
I'm going to escape now, my only chance
I see a helicopter in the yard about to take off
I run straight in, they start shooting at me
I cross the wire fence, not even bullets will stop me
I manage to hang and climb
They say: Stay still!
It didn't last two seconds, I sent him flying
Everything was going perfectly, everything was fine
I land at an airport and go to find a hotel
As soon as I enter, I realize something strange is happening
The floor started shaking, the room lit up instantly
It was Chief Biring Bamba, that I forgot to kill
And now he's coming for revenge, I want a mano a mano duel
To his planet again
He said that before the duel by tradition the visitor had one wish
So I asked for a cyborg arm that they built for me
It has a thousand times my strength, and shoots fireballs

The day of the fight arrived, everyone wants me dead
I don't have a crowd, but I do have endurance
He started shooting me with his triple laser gun
But he couldn't hit me
So he started getting closer
When I had him close
We didn't go to the Re Gloves
He managed to knock me to the ground
I was on the verge of being killed
When suddenly I drew strength from a moment
And I hit him with such a hook that he didn't get up again
For the second time I became the boss of the planet
I never had to go to the Chinese store that Tuesday to buy
There is only one solution so this never happens
I have to go back in time a few weeks
I went to the time machine, but it didn't work
I opened the door and found dinosaurs and all
When I tried to use it again, it didn't start afterwards
The only good thing I found was a joint in my pants
I ripped that off, tripping on what I had done
And I said: Damn man, I screwed up big time
Now I'm hungry and I don't even know what year I'm living in
I go out with a stick to explore and come back
I take two steps and step on an anaconda
That starts climbing and wrapping me up like a carpet
Oh, what a bummer!
What bad luck I have, but I also have an arm that spits fire
So I grabbed it, and twisted it
Anaconda with wild herbs, I snacked on
Too bad there's no coffee, but oh well
Let's see what to do
I keep walking in my daze
And suddenly I see trees starting to fall
Something is approaching, man
It's a Tyrannosaurus Rex, looking for food, hey
And it's even looking at me
I better stay still
Like in Jurassic Park, let's see if that works
Seconds later I realized that didn't work
He was running towards me, getting closer very fast
I started running in the forest
My eyes were watering
He was about to catch me and I found a waterfall
I jumped straight in, surfaced
The sky turned red and made a horrible noise
I said: It can't be! It can't be possible!
The meteorite that extinguishes the Dinos is falling!
Fuck them!
I swam under the waterfall
Where I found a cave that was very protected
I heard the impact, bam!
The whole world was shaking
An earthquake for a few hours that didn't let me stop
The earthquake stopped, I came out of the cave
It was pure fire where there used to be jungle
The burnt bones of the damn dinosaur
I ripped out a fang and made myself a really good sword

Fuck, man!
It's night, it's late
I'm very sleepy, I'm almost fainting
This Friday was fucked up
So I'm going to lie down
I have to be calm
What else can happen to me