canción de muerte y salvación

I was there
But it wasn't me

A black stain
That emerges from the chest
Tar oozing from your arteries
Crashing against your veins
Drowning your lungs
I wish I had fallen asleep in that bathtub
In a premature farewell to sadness

You thought you would never breathe again
Finding pleasure in accepting defeat
Because only there, only there
In those hands searching for pills in the bathroom
In those fingers forcing the bottom drawer
Of your parents' private room
They were there, the true Our Fathers waiting
Don't be mistaken, no one is coming
To forgive you in anyone's name
You surrender with arms crossed
But you won't be able to resurrect yourself

They had taken from you what was yours
What was pure and naive and what was perfect
They turned it into a
Rotten fruit fallen from the forbidden tree of sins
Damaged forever
Damaged forever

Still, you thought there would be something to save you
Sometimes it was a body
Sometimes a scruple
Sometimes a lie
Sometimes praying at night
Or asking for something even though you didn't know what it was
You let anyone who wanted to touch you
Because it was easier to feel nothing there
Than to try to understand
What was between your legs
That only caused pain and problems

The ghosts settled in
Took control
Assumed command
You stayed to live in the nearest prison
It was inside your own cage
You had built it with the remains
Left from your childhood

You searched for your song
Of death and salvation

I was there, because it was me