Sin Ti

Everything was laughter
Until my time ran out
It disappears quickly, fleeting, without giving way to apologies
I had a moment of clarity
Followed by my neglect
Look at me damn it
Don't you see what's happening to me?
That I'm dying again

Let the earth swallow you, it told me
As it rubs its eyes
I have no one left but my memory
And with this sadness, I wet it

The Sun is my Moon when the night goes on for hours
Doing nothing, seeing nothing
I don't want my bed, it doesn't even have blankets

Look me in the face and tell me what you see
Too long without knowing what to do
If God sees me, may He have mercy
May He let me fly free like a bird
Give me the key to find the door to you
The only one who understands me
I don't take care of my mind, nor my soul, nor my flesh
It's hard for me to sleep but even harder to get up

You are everything I dreamed of
And I never imagined that what you wanted
Was different from what I gave you
And now you leave me alone in this nightmare

And in this room, there's still a heart
That misses what you used to do to me

I fight for your forgiveness, for the chance
To see you smile again

It told me to be afraid
That fear would make me happy
It told me I can only do it
That I've only come this far

I'm not the same anymore
Miguel has changed since he tasted the abyss
Me with my autism
With my desire to be alone out of pure selfishness

Tell me what you want me to do
If I'm even cold, your side of the bed empty
I'm not a kid anymore, I sail with this ship
But the water is no longer mine
I drink from myself, from my madness, when tenderness is lacking
A thousand adventures that remained in the past
Past the hardest date

It told me to be afraid
That fear would make me happy
It told me I can only do it
But without you, I can't live

Tell them that without you I will never live
I can't shine if it's not by your side
I look out the window again and again
Hoping that you'll come back to me

I don't want to lose you, let me respond
To all the mistakes I've made
I'm afraid to disappear again
It's how I feel without you, without you