Ma Valse

Look at me smile like a rose in the breeze
Floating my madness under the burning desire
Being alive and a queen in my innocent world
From these rains of light that fall on my field

Look at me open up to the love that's waiting
Its arms and sighs warming my blood
The moss beneath my feet like a silk carpet
A base for my bed, letting go sometimes

Look at me suffer when I don't love myself
When I'm scared to be seen and to be laid bare
When I'm vulnerable and no one hears
The magnitude of the horror that rumbles and deceives

Look at this great void, this tender unknown
That I’d like to succumb to and expect nothing more
A silence that scares, that can’t surprise anymore
'Cause I know a thousand times the taste of its ashes

Love slung over my shoulder like a stolen gift
I wish to be a mother to better console myself
To give myself the welcome, the listening, and the reprieve
To give myself the softness, to give myself a break

How to give oneself that love we await
That’s never enough and we don’t know how to take
That even if we catch our heart smiling sometimes
We close it up so fast, afraid we might drown

And then one evening, one day, we don’t dare accept
This pearl, this key that we had well hidden
In the hollow of our forgetfulness, at the edge of the pier
Contemplating the russet sky of erased dreams

It’s the end that bursts forth like a rage in the belly
The elusive fervor that screams and haunts us
Like an old ghost tired of not being recognized
To be listened to without fear so we can be read

Look at me fight against nothing, against everything
A prisoner of my cage that I built piece by piece
Telling my story so I don’t forget it
It’s tightening my throat today, my freedom

I’m done, enough, enough of being a victim
Of a senseless fear that would sing its anthem
That I carry within me like a floating flag
By the breeze of the ancients in the tree of nothingness

I finish the story, I let the wind go
I give it back hope and the breath of yesteryear
I return to the earth these false beliefs
That I was well taught and that are unfounded

If I want to live this world, my life my way
I accept to live my law, to unite my soul with my reason
I let go, I dare to live
I let go, and I dare to live